||[Apr. 22nd, 2009|10:16 pm]
Hank DeBoer, MT-BC
|||||Take a Chance on Me - ABBA||]|
So I've decided that I need to start sharing psych ward stories. These are just too funny not to share! Hopefully you all find them as hilarious as I do.
Scene #1: Playing Wii Sports in the dayroom of 7 East Inpatient Psych
Patient #1 (who is diagnosed with schizophrenia, states this completely out of the blue): You live by the Bible, you die by the Bible. You live by the sword, you die by the sword. Know what I mean? It's the way of the world.
Patient #2: Yeah, I know, man. You live by the piano, you die by the piano.
Scene #2: Playing Wii Sports today, speaking with a young patient who has recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia and is being medicated for the first time. Speaking about a subject that is beyond anyone's control (I can't recall what it was).
Kristen: Well, what can you do, right?
Patient: Yeah. You can take off the doorknob, but you can still wash the windows. (stated as if it's a well-known proverb)
Scene #3 Occurred about 10 minutes after Scene #2, after said patient had a short visit with the psychologist
Psychologist: Okay, (patient name here), remember, you can't burn the biscuits. (I have no fucking clue what he meant by that, but I'm sure it's some metaphor because that's how Dr. Kaufmann rolls.)
Patient: I don't want to burn 'em. But if I do, we can always go to IHOP.